


Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist

by Kaysigns



Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Drider!Roman, Fluff, Ghoul!Logan, Human!Virgil, Multi, Naga!Janus, Slight Suffocation, Soulmates, Talk of hunting/eating humans, but in like a cuddling way if that makes sense?, except it's not really mentioned in this part, from the tags this looks like a kinda dark fic but this is fluff i swear, idk what to call him anymore, naga!Deceit, severed limb, vampire!patton - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaysigns/pseuds/Kaysigns
Summary: Virgil finished up a busy day at the flower shop and just wants to go home and chill with his four monster boyfriends
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton (Sanders Sides), DLAMP
Series: Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746241
Comments: 10
Kudos: 433





	Four Human-Eating Monsters and An Apathetic Florist

**Author's Note:**

> I usually go to LAMP but this time I wanted to try DLAMP because Janus is baby after that last episode

It was five o’clock, which meant it was time for Virgil to close up the flower shop. He went around locking the doors and drawing the blinds over the windows, double and triple-checking as he went. He flipped the sign to  _ Closed _ on the door as he walked out, walking briskly to his car, slamming the door closed and just sitting there for a moment.

It had been a long day; he was more than ready to just curl up in bed with his soulmates and watch some Netflix for the rest of the night. He smiled at the thought, turning his key in the ignition and pulling out of the parking lot. First he’d have to pick Logan up from the university, though.

He mumbled along to Panic! At the Disco songs as he waited in the university parking lot, staring out the window blankly. After only a few seconds of waiting, out from around a corner came a tall man with long black hair tied back in a ponytail, with unnaturally blue eyes behind thick-rimmed glasses.

He saw Virgil waiting and gave him a small smile and nod, opening the passenger’s side door and taking a seat, closing the door and buckling his seat belt. “Good afternoon, Virgil.”

“Hey, L. How’d it go today?” His sigh said it all.

“It’s almost as if they aren’t even interested in biology. I’ve tried everything, and I’m still unsure of how to teach them.” Virgil started driving again, holding back a smirk.

“You know, my candy idea’s still on the table.”

“They are students of an extremely prestigious university. You truly think that they would pay more attention if  _ candy _ were on the line?”

“I mean I probably would’ve paid more attention in college if it meant free candy. Patton bought some a while ago, you could try with that.” Logan hummed in thought. “Alright, I suppose it’s worth a try.”

They pulled into their driveway, the two entering the house. Virgil was immediately hit with the smell of Patton’s chicken adobo, as well as the sound of the man in question singing cheerily as he cooked.

Virgil took off his shoes, placing them next to the welcome mat before turning around. And all of a sudden Patton was there, welcoming him and Logan home and giving us both a kiss on the lips. The first time he had just appeared behind him it gave Virgil a heart attack, but now it was just expected. It was when Patton didn’t appear there to welcome him home that he became concerned.

Patton pulled Virgil into the kitchen to try out his food, his slit pupils dilating and making almost his entire red iris pure black with excitement. Since Virgil was the only one in the house who actually needed food like this to live, he was always the taste-tester. As always, the food tasted incredible, and Patton soon ran through the house to grab everyone for dinner.

Virgil opened the fridge to pull out some drinks for them, before stopping to stare at the top shelf of the fridge. There staring back at him was a severed arm, wrapped in plastic and still covered in blood. He blinked at it for a moment, before sighing and turning around.

“Roman, did you do this?” He shouted through the house.

“Did I do what?” The sound of eight claws clicking across the wood floor drew closer. The drider peeked into the kitchen, looking into the fridge confused. Then realization seemed to strike him. “Oh...”

“Yeah, these go in the basement fridge, dumbass.” Roman grimaced.

“Welcome home, my love?” He spoke delicately. Virgil was tempted to take the arm and smack him with it, but that was a line that even he wasn’t comfortable crossing.

Roman came over, pulling the arm carefully out of the fridge, before quickly pecking a kiss on Virgil’s cheek and skittering out before the human could come up with a snarky response.

Virgil grabbed the drinks and headed to the dining table, seeing that Logan was calmly standing next to the table, with Janus’s tail wrapped around him up to his chest, just enough so that Logan could still use his arms. Logan had already begun reading a book, one arm rested on Janus’s tail as the naga grumbled to himself about misplacing his bowler hat.

By the looks of it, Logan had already shed his more human disguise, his eyes turning a glowing blue like lightning, black veins showing prominently through his paper-white skin.

Janus noticed Virgil come in and unwrapped himself from around Logan, seeming to consider wrapping around Virgil before choosing to do that later, instead curling his tail up and taking a seat at the table. Logan and Virgil followed soon after, with Patton coming in with the food and Roman coming up from the basement.

They talked about their usual: the shitty people Virgil had to talk to, the gossip around the classroom that Roman and Janus begged to hear from Logan, the kind old lady that came to Patton’s bakery every week, and of course, the hunt they were planning to do tomorrow night.

Virgil typically stayed out of that conversation, mostly because it freaked the other four out when he talked about their hunts so casually. When he had first met them it was disturbing to overhear them talk about killing humans, but at this point he had almost grown apathetic towards it. They generally kept the results of their hunts out of Virgil’s life—aside from the occasional body part—so the only thing that concerned him at this point was them coming back alive from them.

Soon dinner was over, the dishes had been washed, and the five had gone to watch Netflix on the couch. Janus was curled around Virgil—as he was the warmest out of all of them—with his arms draped over his shoulders playing with his hair, and the rest of his tail draped over the rest of their boyfriends. Virgil’s legs were on Patton’s lap, Patton’s head was on Logan’s shoulder, and Roman’s head and arms were draped over Logan’s lap, a hand brushing through Roman’s hair.

To anyone looking in on them, it would look like Virgil was currently being squeezed to death while a vampire, ghoul, and drider watched and waited for their prey to die. So it was a good thing they had closed the blinds. Virgil had chosen a horror movie, and was currently taking note of any time the tail around him constricted suddenly. It was a lot more than he expected.

“I thought you liked horror movies.” He spoke smugly as he felt the grip around him tighten and loosen for the tenth time in two minutes. Janus huffed.

“Well of course I do. It’s just that...this serial killer isn’t realistic at all!” Virgil could tell he was lying, but Logan seemed to take it in stride.

“He is only human, that blow to the head would have snapped his neck back, or at the very least fractured his skull. And why haven’t any of them called the police yet? Quite irresponsible and irrational of them.”

“Isn’t it obvious? That serial killer’s a dark mage in disguise!” Roman spoke as if he had just solved a century-long murder mystery.

“Ooh, that sounds cool!” Patton chirped.

“Were dark mages established in this universe?”

“Of course they were, sweetheart, where have you been?” Janus spoke with a small, confident smirk on his face, turning back to the movie before yelping at a jumpscare and breaking the whole smooth guy facade.

Roman proceeded to spin an entire backstory for the murderer, something the movie had been sorely missing. Did it involve mages and a desire for power? Yes it did, which made it all the more interesting.

By the time he and the movie were finished, they had all begun growing tired. Patton had already fallen asleep cuddling Logan’s arm, and Virgil had begun drifting off a moment before the credits started rolling. Roman flicked off the TV, stretching with a yawn. Logan gently picked up Janus’s tail and moved it off of their laps.

“Virgil, could you move your legs?” Virgil mumbled a bit, but otherwise didn’t move. Whether or not he even  _ could _ move with Janus wrapped around him was still debatable. Roman smirked, inching closer as quietly as possible, before gently lifting Janus from under his arms. Janus hissed in response, annoyed that his heat source had been taken away. Roman simply pulled his torso up, wrapping his tail around his stomach before carefully picking Virgil up and draping him over his abdomen.

Logan picked Patton up and followed Roman to the bedroom, placing Patton down before taking Virgil off of Roman and laying him next to Patton, then getting in bed himself. Roman got comfortable in his blanket nest next to the bed, kissing Janus goodnight before letting him get comfortable under the blankets. He gently took Logan’s hand and kissed him goodnight as well, laying his head on a pillow and closing his eyes.

Virgil slept, surrounded by four creatures that survived by feeding off of humans like himself, and had a peaceful night’s sleep, knowing that no matter what they did to other humans, they would never harm him. And he was grateful to have them.


End file.
